


Commander Erwin Smith's Number One Fanboy

by Light_Within_Darkness



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Community: snkkink, Eren is SUCH a fanboy, Explicit Language, Fluff, For The Kink Meme!, Humor, I Tried, Levi is surprisingly helpful, M/M, Mentions of Sex, My First Work in This Fandom, Originally Posted Elsewhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-18
Updated: 2013-09-18
Packaged: 2017-12-26 22:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/971145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Light_Within_Darkness/pseuds/Light_Within_Darkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin visits the former Survey Corps HQ, and Levi learns that the Commander is Eren's Number One Idol.</p>
<p>Levi is not amused.</p>
<p>Originally written for a prompt on the SnK Kink Meme Part 2: "As it so turns out, Eren has not only idolized the recon corps, but also Commander Erwin. He just thinks the guy is the bees knees, which is a pain in the arse for his long suffering boyfriend who has to hear Eren gush about his superior all the time when they're together."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Commander Erwin Smith's Number One Fanboy

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic for Attack on Titan. It went in a completely different direction than I expected it to go when I first started writing it. Hints of my secret love for Erwin/Mike pop up as well, but only briefly. 
> 
> Watching the anime has made me ship Ereri so hard. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. :o

In retrospect, Levi probably wouldn't have cared so much about Eren's blatant hero worship of the Commander if he hadn't been sleeping with the brat. 

The two of them were lying naked in Eren's bed after a round of sex. Although the young soldier might be a brat, he was still probably in the running for the best sex partner Levi had ever had. Eren could even be _the_ best, after another week or so of Levi giving him "private lessons." Sure, the kid was inexperienced, but was perfectly willing to let Levi take the lead. Not to mention that Eren had energy and stamina for _days_ , and the way he writhed and moaned and called Levi's name out...well, just thinking about it was starting to get the Corporal hard again. Maybe it was a Titan thing. The energy and stamina, that is. The rest was probably just Eren.

The brat was currently lying on his side, facing away from Levi. Eren's back was still pressed up against Levi's side, however. On the kid's narrow-ass bed, it was hard _not_ to be touching. It was just as well, anyway, since the basement where Eren was sleeping was cold as fuck. Still, orders were orders. If the Commander wanted Eren to sleep in the basement, then Levi would damn well make sure that the brat stayed in the basement. Still, he'd have to see about getting a larger bed down here. The one Eren currently had was really too small for proper fucking.

Levi frowned slightly and turned towards his protege's back. Eren was being much quieter than usual. And he wasn't trying to cuddle with Levi either, which he often did after sex. Who would have thought that Eren, rough and violent Eren, who picked fights and went around declaring that he would kill every single Titan in the world, was secretly a cuddler? Levi smirked just thinking about it. "Oi, brat," he muttered, gently shoving Eren slightly in order to get the soldier's attention. "You still upset about what happened a few days ago?"

Eren had been unusually silent after what Hanji was now calling the "Spoon Incident." Eren had lost control of his Titan-shifting powers, transforming in the middle of reaching down to grab a fallen spoon at lunchtime. Levi had had to talk his entire squad down from killing Eren right that moment. Damn Hanji and her ridiculous Titan experiments. It was true that Eren needed to learn control, but running experiments on him was definitely _not_ the way to go about doing it. 

For the past few days, Eren had been unusually sullen and quiet, going about his daily chores and exercises in relative silence. He spoke only when he needed to, and mostly to the Corporal. The rest of the squad was being nicer than usual to the boy. Levi could tell that they genuinely regretted threatening Eren, but the boy was still a bit leery of them.

Levi sighed. He'd never been very good at comforting people. His squad understood this perfectly, having worked under Levi's command for years. They knew him like the back of their hands, knew that a slight nod of the Corporal's head or a certain look in his eye when he met someone's gaze were Levi's ways of praising someone for a job well done. But Levi and Eren had only been together a few weeks, and the brat had yet to pick up on any of these subtle clues. So Levi would have to try and talk to him. Dammit, Erwin had always been better at that. One of the many reasons why he was the Commander, and Levi was a Corporal.

"Listen, Eren," he started. "I know that whatever's happening to you is scary. Anyone would be scared, if they were suddenly able to turn into the very creature humanity has spent over a century fighting. But you've only had this...power, or whatever you want to call it, for a few weeks now. It's only natural that you wouldn't quite understand how to control it yet. I made sure to put that in the report I made to Erwin - ah, fuck." 

Levi stopped himself mid-sentence. Eren's back had hunched up tightly now, the muscles standing out with anxiety. Levi hadn't meant to tell the brat about the incident report. Before he'd left to supervise Eren's training at the old Survey Corps HQ, Erwin had ordered Levi to send a report to him immediately should Eren lose control of his transformations, or try to hurt anyone. Orders were orders, and especially so when they came from Erwin. So Levi had tried his best to make Eren look as blameless as possible in the report when he'd written it. This afternoon, Petra had come back with Erwin's reply.

It was probably best for the brat to hear the whole story, seeing as how Levi had accidentally spilled part of it. Mentally reprimanding himself for the slip, the Corporal continued. "Well anyway, I got Erwin's reply earlier today. He doesn't blame you for what happened, brat. Actually, he's planning to arrive here tomorrow to watch your training." Levi noticed Eren's back stiffen further at the new information.

"Don't freak out on me, brat," Levi warned. "Erwin's not going to hurt you, he just wants to see your progress - "

Levi was once again cut off, but this time it was by Eren. The boy had turned over to face Levi so quickly that the older man couldn't help but flinch back in response, only barely stopping himself from falling off of the bed. Eren's big, blue-green eyes were wider than Levi had ever seen before (and he'd seen them widen considerably, whenever the brat had an orgasm). A slow, excited smile was spreading across Eren's face.

"Are you feeling all right, Eren?" Levi asked carefully, making sure to keep his tone even. _Fuck, has his brain finally snapped?_ Levi thought worriedly. He tensed slightly, preparing in case Eren tried to attack him and he needed to knock the brat out.

"Commander Erwin's coming? Here? Tomorrow? Really?!" Eren squealed. _Squealed_ , like an excited teenage girl expecting a visit from a boy she liked. Except Eren wasn't a girl, as Levi knew quite well by now. The Corporal had no idea what to make of Eren's reaction. It didn't seem like the brat was getting homicidal on him, but Levi still wasn't ruling out the possibility that the kid had gone insane.

"I can't believe it!" Eren flopped onto his back to stare up at the ceiling, huge smile still on his face. "I'm going to get to see Commander Erwin again. He's coming _here!_ To see _me!_ I'll finally get a chance to prove myself a fighter worthy of the Survey Corps, and in front of the Commander himself!"

Levi sat up, looking down at the younger male with a look of open confusion. "Uh...Eren...do you...have _feelings_ for Erwin?" A small part of Levi thought that he might actually be upset if it turned out that Eren liked Erwin better, but the Corporal staunchly ignored it. He was a soldier, for fuck's sake, not some lovestruck, hormonal teenager!

"Huh? Me, thinking about Commander Erwin like...like _that?_ " A slight blush spread across Eren's nose at the thought of it. "No way! I just...I really admire the Commander, I guess. I've always wanted to join the Survey Corps, ever since I was a little kid. I used to line up on the side of the road with everyone else in Shiganshina whenever the Survey Corps passed through, just hoping to catch a quick look at them.

"And I especially wanted to see the Commander!" Eren continued. "He's a military genius, after all! 'The greatest mind of our generation,' my teachers said. I wanted to grow up to be just like him."

Levi smiled slightly at Eren's animated face and voice. The brat sounded much happier now than he had at any point during the past few days. This earnest, slightly naive hero worship was a side of the brat Levi had never seen before. It was almost sort of endearing, the way Eren idolized his commanding officer. However, Eren was too busy looking at the ceiling and daydreaming about Erwin to notice, and Levi's smile was gone as quickly as it came. Lance Corporal Levi was not a man prone to smiling.

"Alright brat, Erwin will be here in the morning and you can shower him with your undying devotion then. Let's get some sleep in the meantime, hm?" Levi laid back down next to the brat, looking forward to a good night's rest. Sex could be rather tiring, after all, especially if you were doing it with someone as energetic as Eren.

Two hours later, Levi was seriously regretting ever having thought of Eren's hero worship over Erwin to be cute. In fact, it might possibly have been the most annoying thing Levi had ever had the misfortune of being subjected to. The brat had been wriggling and squirming all night long, and it made it impossible for Levi to get comfortable and sleep.

"Levi, do you think the Commander will like the kind of tea we have? I mean, it is a bit on the strong side. Maybe we should ask Erd if we can use some of the special green tea from Sina that he keeps in his room?"

"Shut up and let me sleep."

"Do you know what room he'll be sleeping in yet, Levi? Is it clean enough? I don't want Commander Erwin to get sick."

"Brat, you've spent the last couple of weeks living with _me._ All the rooms are fucking spotless."

_"Levi!"_ Eren shoved up against Levi's shoulder hard in order to get his attention. 

"For _fuck's sake,_ brat, what the _hell_ do you want?!" Levi sat up in bed and glared at Eren, his slate grey eyes burning with anger.

"...You don't think I'll lose control if I try to transform, will I? Oh shit, what if the Commander asks me to transform and I _can't?_ I'll look like an idiot in front of him!"

"So help me _god,_ if I hear another word out of you, Eren, you're spending the next week sleeping in the dungeon!" Levi hissed, in the quietest and most dangerous voice he could muster. He turned his back to the younger male and laid back down, yanking the blanket up to his ears. "And stop fucking squirming already! What are you, a five year old?"

**-x-**

Erwin arrived shortly after breakfast the next day, along with Mike and three other Survey Corps members whose names Levi had forgotten. Eren had been hanging around the front garden since dawn waiting for him, just staring anxiously at the horizon while sipping a cup of tea Petra had brought out for him, as part of Squad Levi's ongoing attempts to regain Eren's trust. Consequently, Eren was the first among them to line up before the castle and salute the Commander as he rode up.

Erwin dismounted his horse before them, handing the reins to one of the soldiers behind him. "At ease," he said, raising a hand in greeting. Everyone relaxed, save for Eren. Although he'd dropped the salute, Eren remained standing stiffly, looking straight ahead with a serious, formal expression.

"Good to see you again, Levi. You too, Hanji," Erwin said, greeting the both of them with a warm smile and a handshake. "I take it that things have been going well?"

"Yes, sir," Levi said. "Eren has been...less burdensome than I originally expected."

Erwin chuckled. "High praise, coming from you." 

"Sir, I've learned so much already from observing Sonny and Bean." Hanji was clearly not wasting any time in telling the Commander about her latest Titan experiments. "For example, did you know that if you put a basket of apples near Bean - "

Erwin raised a hand. "I'd love to hear more about it this evening after dinner, Hanji. For now, however, I'd like to talk to Eren."

Levi watched the tips of Eren's ears go red as Erwin went to stand in front of him, the boy's stiff expression melting into something closer to awe. The Commander smiled warmly at the young soldier. "Eren, how have you been doing lately? I hear that Hanji's been keeping you busy with Titan shifting, hm?"

"Ye-yes, sir!" Eren stammered out. He stared up at Erwin with wide eyes, as if he was being spoken to by some kind of minor deity.

"Well, I'm glad that you've been complicit with her so far. It's important that we learn everything we can about the Titans, and about your powers in particular, if we are to have any hope of defeating them."

"Of-of course, sir!" Eren replied. He still looked awestruck at being personally addressed by the Commander. To Levi's right, Gunter and Erd were desperately trying to muffle their laughter at the starry-eyed teen. Levi himself was starting to feel a bit embarrassed for Eren at this point. 

Erwin chuckled gently, and clapped Eren on the shoulder. The brat looked as if he was about to faint from the simple touch. "You can relax, Eren," Erwin said gently. "I'm not going to slice your head off. That treatment's reserved for the enemies of humanity."

It was a smooth move on Erwin's part to say "enemies of humanity" instead of "Titans," Levi noted. The Commander was probably under the impression that Eren was scared of him, since the brat was only a step away from being considered a Titan himself. Erwin was probably trying to help create a feeling of trust between himself and Eren. And he'd apparently succeeded, since Eren's posture was slightly less tense now.

Erwin moved closer to Levi, and said quietly near the Corporal's ear, "Levi, I'd like to talk to you, Hanji, and Eren alone. Is there someplace nearby we can go to. where we won't be disturbed?"

Levi nodded and stepped away from the Commander. "My squad is dismissed," he said in a loud, crisp voice. "Take the soldiers who have come with Commander Erwin to the spare rooms in the castle, after you've tended to the horses." To Erwin, he said in a quieter voice: "We can speak at the edge of the training grounds, near the forest. Everyone should be busy settling into the castle for the next hour or so, and we'll be left alone."

"Excellent," Erwin replied. "Lead the way." The Commander quickly fell into step beside Levi, with Eren trotting along behind him like a puppy. The brat's eyes were still looking adoringly up at Erwin, as if he was Eren's dream come true.

Levi sighed inwardly. It was going to be a long afternoon.

**-x-**

"...And in the third supply depot we've established outside Wall Rose, we still have twenty bags of grain, a hundred gallon-sized jugs of water, and around fifty or so large jars of pickled vegetables. We would have had more, but Schroeder's horse threw a shoe and toppled the supply wagon it was hitched to. Of course, that was the wagon with most of the preserved vegetables in it..."

Levi should have known that this would happen. Allowing Erwin to talk at his leisure for a long enough amount of time, and the man would inevitably start talking about their supplies. The Commander had memorized a seemingly endless list of the Survey Corps' inventory, ranging from the amount of 3D Maneuver Gear gas canisters in one of the military warehouses, to the number of spare uniforms available in another. And with an audience as eager as Eren was, it was possible for Erwin to go on for _hours._

Levi wondered if this was what Hell was like - listening to his commanding officer rattle off lists of figures the Corporal couldn't care less about, while his newest recruit sat across from said commanding officer looking enraptured. The way Eren was leaning forward and staring at Erwin with those big eyes of his, the Commander could have been talking about the last time he'd taken a shit and the brat still would have eaten it up.

"Wow, Commander. You really know what's going on out in the field, don't you? What's in the fourth supply depot?" Eren said, the brat's voice filled with admiration.

Erwin chuckled gently. "I'm glad you asked, Eren. I find that a healthy interest in an army's resources outside of battle is the mark of a good soldier." 

Eren's face practically _glowed_ at the compliment. If Levi hadn't known any better, he would have thought Eren was a child at Christmas who had just received a wonderful gift. Except that since Levi was having sexual relations with Eren, and thinking about the brat as a small child was not a place his mind wanted to go right now. Or at all, ever. 

Levi wondered if Erwin would be too upset if Levi just emptied his coffee cup onto Eren's head. Right now, it seemed the fastest way to end this conversation.

"You know what would be awesome?" Hanji looked up from one of the many, many notebooks she kept regarding Titans. She'd started re-reading her notes underneath the table when Erwin had started going on about the supplies, and hadn't tried to be part of the conversation since. Until now, apparently. "If Eren tried transforming into a Titan again."

Eren's face went pale. "Uh, Hanji, I don't really - "

"Don't be silly, Eren!" Hanji leaned over to drape an arm around Eren's shoulders good-naturedly, only succeeding in making the young soldier look even more nervous. "Based on what I've learned about you so far, it seems like you need to have a clear goal in mind before a transformation. I want to see if you can transform with the intent of...impressing the Commander!" She finally released Eren, though not without ruffling his hair a bit first.

Levi just barely managed to avoid snorting into his coffee cup. Hanji had obviously picked up on Eren's hero worship of Erwin and decided to use it to her advantage. Despite himself, Levi couldn't help but wonder if perhaps Erwin could serve as a clear enough purpose to warrant a successful Titan transformation.

"Shouldn't we, I dunno, be doing this with more of the Survey Corps soldiers nearby?" Eren still looked quite nervous, and was looking everywhere but at Erwin. "I mean, what if I lose control and go on a rampage...?" 

Hanji waved her hand dismissively. "Relax! We've got the Commander of the entire Survey Corps right here with us, not to mention Humanity's Strongest Soldier. And I'm no slouch myself, you know. There's _no way_ you'd be able to overpower all of us if you lost control. Which I'm sure you won't, anyway."

Eren nervously looked to Levi, who nodded at him. "Just to be on the safe side, though, we shouldn't make Eren attempt a full transformation. I don't want my squad to come running over here with swords drawn, after all. Just try to transform your arm again, or something." 

"I believe you can do it, Eren." The young soldier's eyes snapped back to Erwin, who nodded gently and smiled. "Do your best. Like Hanji said, we can handle it if something goes wrong."

Eren nodded, his big eyes filling once again with that fiery determination Levi so admired in the brat. "Yes, sir!" He said, then stood up and saluted before stepping well back from the table. Levi, Erwin, and Hanji stood as well.

"Whenever you're ready, Eren!" Hanji yelled. 

Eren took a deep breath, closed his eyes, brought his hand to his mouth...and bit down, hard.

There was a short but blindingly bright flash of orange light, which seemed to accompany all of Eren's transformations. Once Levi had managed to blink all the stars out of his eyes, he looked across the field at Eren. He didn't want the brat to get hurt, after all.

It seemed, however, that Eren had done it. The kid was staring down at his left arm, which had transformed into the thick, ropy muscle of a Titan's arm. Unlike with his earlier accidental transformation. Eren now wore a huge, triumphant smile.

"Very well done, Eren!" Erwin shouted, applauding.

Levi could see Eren's blush from all the way across the field. "Th-thank you, sir!" The brat stuttered.

"Alright!" Hanji whooped. "I _knew_ you could do it! Now let's see if you can move that arm..."

As Hanji ran to fuss over Eren's Titan arm, Levi couldn't help but blink in surprise. Eren had to be the only person in the history of the world whose hero worship of Commander Erwin was strong enough to cause physical transformations. What a weird little brat.

_Weird or not, you're still sleeping with him,_ said an annoying little voice in the back of Levi's head that he tried the best to ignore. Grimacing, Levi downed his coffee in one gulp. _Eurgh, tastes disgusting. Auruo must have brewed it._

**-x-**

"Eren is certainly a fine young recruit," Erwin said that evening. The three of them - Erwin, Levi, and Hanji - were sitting in what had been the library, back when the old castle was still used as the Survey Corps' HQ building. All of the books had since been moved out, leaving the room empty save for a few faded (but clean) armchairs, and a fraying (but also clean) rug. Levi and his squad had been using it as a kind of informal sitting room ever since they'd arrived. The room made for a good place to have after-dinner tea, and discuss military matters that the rest of the Survey Corps weren't privy to.

Levi snorted. "He's promising, I suppose. The brat's Titan powers alone have immense military potential. But he's a little too...overeager, at times."

There was a burst of laughter from Hanji. "It's adorable, the way he hung onto Erwin's every word this afternoon. And this is the first time I've been able to get Eren to transform since the Spoon Incident! I'd say our newest little recruit has a bit of a _crush_ on the brave, dashing Commander over here." The scientist winked in Erwin's direction, and the Commander smiled slightly over the rim of his teacup.

Levi bristled at Hanji's insinuation, his possessive streak towards the brat flaring at the thought of Eren feeling romantically towards someone other than him. Erwin chuckled. "Don't worry Levi, we understand that Eren's _your_ protege. I won't try to muscle in on him." Both he and Hanji laughed at that one.

The Corporal relaxed slightly. Thank goodness Erwin hadn't realized the true reason for Levi's annoyance. It would have been terribly awkward to try and explain to the Commander why Levi was fucking a boy ten years his junior, and a subordinate to boot. So Levi just nodded and sipped his tea.

"Levi, you really should speak to the boy about me." Erwin said seriously, his pale blue eyes gazing straight into Levi's own dark ones. "I'm not the sort of person that a young man like Eren should be idolizing."

"Erwin - " Levi started, wanting to tell the Commander that Eren had always idolized him since he'd been a child; that Erwin's arrival had made Eren happier than he'd been in weeks; that Eren couldn't have chosen a better or more noble man to look up to...but Erwin raised a hand and stopped Levi before the Corporal could say anything more.

"We've been friends a long time, Levi, and you know me better than anyone else. You've seen me do terrible things in the Survey Corps, monstrous things, all so that humanity could have a fighting chance against the Titans. I won't add one more sin to the pile by allowing Eren to believe me a hero. 

"You _need_ to tell Eren the truth, Levi. You're his commanding officer, and his mentor on top of that. Eren trusts you, and he's a hell of a lot more comfortable with you than he is with me. The boy will listen to you more than he will to me."

Levi was silent for a long moment. Then the Corporal rose and walked out of the room without another word, shutting the door behind him.

"Levi!" Hanji cried. "Don't just walk out on us like that, Erwin asked you to do something!" The scientist made to follow Levi out, but Erwin stopped her with a gesture.

"Leave him be, Hanji. Levi will do as I asked, of that I can assure you. For now, I'd like to go over these changes I made to the scouting formations..."

**-x-**

When Levi arrived in the basement, Eren was lying on his bed, fighting a losing battle with sleep. He perked up slightly at hearing Levi's footsteps and the gentle _creak_ of squeaky hinges as the Corporal pushed open the heavy wooden door to Eren's room. "There you are, Levi," Eren grumbled tiredly, yawning and rubbing at his eyes. "Been waiting for you for _hours._ Thought you weren't coming down."

A warm rush flooded through Levi's chest at Eren's words. For someone who had seen more than his fair share of bloodshed, the brat could be unbearably sweet at times. Waiting up half the night, for _him..._ "You should have gone to sleep, Jaeger," Levi said gruffly, not wanting to sound overly emotional in front of Eren. "It's important that soldiers get a good night's rest, you know. You're more likely to get eaten if you're dead on your feet."

Eren just smiled sleepily. "Yeah, but I sleep better when you're here."

Levi's lips curled upward in the tiniest of smiles. "Brat," he muttered affectionately. The Corporal moved to lay down on the bed next to Eren, pulling the boy close and gently kissing him on the forehead. Eren snuggled into Levi's arms, murmuring happily.

Levi felt torn. He wanted to do what Erwin had asked of him, and tell Eren that the Commander wasn't a perfect man. But Levi also wanted to protect Eren. He'd seen Eren endure horrible pain and sadness - from losing comrades and family to the Titans, from the military's callous treatment, and from Levi's own hands as well, though it pained the Corporal to admit it. The boy's dreams and ideals had been crushed enough by the world. Would it hurt to let Eren hang onto his ideal vision of Erwin, as the brave and noble knight who would ultimately save humanity from the Titans?

_No,_ Levi thought. _I have to do this._ It wouldn't do to coddle Eren, not now. The boy was a member of the Survey Corps, and of Levi's squad, no less. It would only hurt Eren in the long run if Levi allowed him to think that Erwin was perfect. The boy would find the truth out sooner or later. Levi would rather the brat here it from him than find out find out firsthand in the heat of battle.

"Eren," Levi muttered, gently shaking the boy in order to wake him. "Wake up, I need to tell you something."

"Wazzaght," Eren mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.

"Listen to me, brat, this is important. It's about Erwin."

At the mention of the Commander, Eren was instantly awake. "Levi, Commander Erwin is _so cool!_ He's even better in person than I imagined when I was a kid! He's so smart, and he knows so much about fighting Titans. I can't wait until I get to go out in the field and prove to him that I'm worthy of being part of the Survey Corps! I just know Mikasa and Armin would really like Commander Erwin, too, when they get to meet him - "

"Erwin snores louder than an entire pack of Titans!" Levi spoke loudly, in order to be heard over Eren's babbling.

Eren looked dumbfounded. "What?"

"Talks in his sleep, too. Usually rattles off lists of how many horses we've got available for our next scouting mission, or some shit like that. If we're stuck outside the walls overnight, people draw straws to find out which poor son of a bitch's stuck bunking with the Commander."

Eren was staring at Levi as if the older man had just lost his mind. "I don't...Commander Erwin really talks in his sleep?"

"Oh yeah," Levi was just getting started. "Erwin also carries around his old teddy bear from when he was a kid. Tucks it at the bottom of his knapsack every time we go out beyond the walls. It's a ratty piece of crap now though; the fur's missing in patches and one of the eyes is gone. I've caught him cuddling with it when he thought no one was looking." Levi couldn't help reddening slightly at just the memory of how embarrassing it had been to accidentally find _that_ out.

Eren looked slightly embarrassed as well. "Levi, you can stop telling me this now..."

"Oh hell no. I'm just getting started brat. Did I ever tell you that Erwin's really weird around Mike? They spend a lot of time together in Erwin's office at HQ. Alone. I try not to think about what the two of them are doing in there. Sometimes, Erwin and Mike share a horse when we go out on scouting missions. Mike will lean over and _smell_ Erwin for hours, and Erwin just _lets_ him. It's fucking creepy."

Levi was quiet for several long moments after this. Eren was as well, mostly because he had no idea why the Corporal was telling him all this information about the Commander. He'd think Levi was drunk, if it wasn't for the fact that the older man hadn't touched so much as a drop of alcohol in all of their time at the castle.

"Sometimes Erwin cries at night," Levi said quietly. "Not often, but sometimes. He's seen men die in horrible ways, seen his very own soldiers fall in bloody droves before the Titans. The Commander blames himself for their deaths. He's the one who convinces these bright young men and women to join the Survey Corps, after all, when they could have had a nice, cushy career in the Military Police behind Wall Sina. He's the one who gives the orders, who leads the missions out into Titan territory."

Eren was silent, staring at Levi with wide, disbelieving eyes.

"I know - and believe me, Erwin knows too - that he could have saved at least a few soldiers' lives by sacrificing himself. The Commander has had countless opportunities to push someone out of the way of a Titan's foot, and be crushed in their stead. There have been plenty of times Erwin could have flung himself into a Titan's mouth in order to prevent another man or woman from being eaten. But he doesn't. Erwin lets these people die, because everyone knows full well that the Survey Corps would be useless without him. Commander Erwin is one of, if not _the_ greatest fucking military minds humanity's ever had. Before he came along, the Survey Corps was just a bunch of suicidal idiots running around outside the walls like chickens with their heads cut off, until they were all inevitably eaten.

Levi chuckled dryly. "We're all still fucking suicidal morons, but now we're suicidal morons who at least have a _plan,_ who have goals to accomplish every time we go out into enemy territory. Between Erwin and yourself, brat, humanity has a chance of winning this war, for the first time in over a century."

The Corporal's next words were so quiet that Eren had to strain to hear them. "Erwin worries that he's losing his humanity. By destroying so many lives in order to save the human race, he fears that he's becoming a monster. I try as best I can to keep him grounded, but...sometimes I worry about that too."

Eren buried his head into Levi's side and was silent. Levi tried rousing him, but the boy wouldn't move. After some time had passed, the Corporal figured that Eren must have fallen asleep. He was just about to fall asleep himself and talk to the brat again in the morning, when Eren finally spoke up. "I've been an idiot, haven't I?" He said in a hoarse whisper.

"Yes," Levi responded. Eren's eyes were downcast, a serious expression on his face. Levi desperately hoped the brat wasn't going to cry. He cared for Eren deeply, but that didn't change the fact that he was awful at dealing with tears.

"I should have realized that Commander Erwin wasn't perfect," Eren continued, lifting his head up in order to meet Levi's eyes. "I mean, I've idolized the Survey Corps ever since I could remember. All I've ever wanted was to join the Survey Corps. Since Commander Erwin leads the Survey Corps, I thought he must be the bravest, strongest, coolest person in the whole world." 

Eren flopped back onto the bed and smiled slightly. "I had all these fantasies about single-handedly saving the Commander from Titans, so that he would admire me and call me brave and strong in front of all the other soldiers. Since all my other childhood dreams were pretty much wrecked the day Wall Maria fell, and my mom got eaten by a Titan...I don't know. I guess I just wanted this one stupid, naive belief about Commander Erwin to be true."

Levi reached out and hugged Eren close to him. "Go to sleep, brat," he said, gently kissing Eren on the forehead. "You're alright."

**-x-**

The next morning saw all the inhabitants of the castle eating breakfast around the big dining room table. All save for one, that is. Eren had yet to arrive, despite the fact that food had been on the table for at least fifteen minutes. Being a teenager, Eren was seldom late for meals, and his absence now was palpable.

Petra looked in the direction of the basement, biting her lip in worry. "I hope nothing's wrong with Eren," she said softly. "It isn't like him to miss breakfast."

Erwin leaned over and muttered in the direction of Levi's ear, "did you talk to the boy last night?"

Levi nodded slightly. Eren had been out of bed before him this morning, which was an unusual occurrence in and of itself. The young soldier had left while Levi was still putting on his pants, saying that he was going to take a shower. An unusually long shower, by the look of things.

"Did he take it well?" Erwin whispered again. Levi thought he saw the barest hint of concern in his commanding officer's eyes, but it was hard to tell even for him. Erwin was good at hiding his feelings, after all this time.

Before Levi had the chance to respond, a set of footsteps came ringing down the hallway. Everyone turned to look as Eren came into the dining room. He saluted briefly before going to take his seat in between Petra and Auruo. "Good morning everyone," Eren said, polite as always when in the Survey Corps' company. "Sorry I'm late, I had to use the bathroom and it, erm...took longer than I thought it would."

There was a round of "good morning Eren," from the rest of the table, ranging in tone from enthusiastic on the part of Hanji and Levi's squad, to polite from the Survey Corps soldiers who had come with Erwin. 

"No need to go on about the shit you took at the breakfast table, Eren," Levi said. Eren turned to look at him, and Levi felt a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding come out. The brat was OK after last night. Levi could see it in the way those big blue-green irises shone up at him.

"Eren, I was wondering," Erwin put down his knife and fork and looked up at Eren. Eren met the Commander's gaze easily, his posture more relaxed than it had been during all of yesterday. "After breakfast, would you like to practice with me on the Maneuver Gear? I daresay I know a move or two that Shadis doesn't teach the trainees."

"I'd like that a lot, sir," Eren said. He smiled at the Commander, an expression very different from yesterday. Instead of appearing awestruck, Eren now looked at Erwin with the respect borne of knowing that he was a flawed man who nevertheless was committed to giving his all on the battlefield. The change was palpable, causing Erwin to smile slightly himself.

"Excellent," the Commander said. "I'll meet you on the training grounds after breakfast, then."

"Yes, sir!" Eren replied. The two of them then went back to eating breakfast as calmly as if they were comrades in the 104th Squad's mess hall.

Out of the corner of his eye, Levi saw Hanji give him a thumbs-up and smile. Rolling his eyes, Levi allowed the tiniest of smiles to flit across his face. Dealing with his new protege-slash-lover was proving to be more enjoyable than Levi had originally thought.

And in the future, if words didn't work there were always more...physical ways of getting a message across. More enjoyable ones, too.

**Author's Note:**

> I still don't really like how this ends, but I couldn't think up a better ending for it. Ah well, I hope you enjoyed this anyway~


End file.
